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Chat: Sophie Bacic

Monday, June 15, 2009
60 Minutes presents a live interview with Sophie Bacic.

Interviewer: 60 Minutes presents a live interview with Sophie Bacic.

Interviewer: Sophie thank you for talking to us tonight, in our live online chat room.

Sophie Bacic: Hi everyone, thanks for having me, hope you enjoyed the segment and hopefully I can be of some help tonight.

Marty asks: Do you consider it a sacrifice like the last woman interviewed tonight?

Sophie Bacic: Yes, ofcourse it is a sacrifice, but when you decide that you are going to have a family and have children, that’s a sacrifice that you need to take.

Misterfied asks: Sophie, I think you are a beautiful women that is doing all you can for your family. Your husband is one very lucky man. Many gentlemen around Australia would love to be married with a partner like yourself. How did you met you partner? Thank You for sharing your story.

Sophie Bacic: How lovely, thank you for your kind message, I actually met my partner through one of my best friends.

jesekah asks: How many children do you hope to have Sophie?

Sophie Bacic: I would like to have 4 if financially we can afford it.

jenka asks: Sophie what do you do to keep your sanity and get rid of your baby brain?

Sophie Bacic: I have hobbies like cake decorating. I socialise with other women and we talk about other things that aren’t related to family and babies etc. Like general day to day life, like clothes and fashion and politics.

landpc asks: Sophie do you cop much flack from other women for the choices you have made? Sophie Bacic: No, I don’t. I’m proud to call myself a housewife and I’m very fortunate to have a choice to be able to stay at home and look after my family, and raise my children.

babyontheway asks: Hi Sophie, it's great to see you and your husband are on the same page - very important for any relationship, but what if you did want a career? Would your husband agree?

Sophie Bacic: Obviously if I did want a career, than my husband would support me, but ideally if that was to happen, he would like that to happen when the kids are a little older, maybe in high school. But yes, my husband would support me in any decision I make.

FreedomGirl asks: I am a young mother of a 15mnth old boy. I'm married. I stay at home and look after my family. But I don’t sacrifice my freedom to make choices. How can a person like yourself just say "oh ask my husband he has control over all the money"?

Sophie Bacic: I never said that my husband has control of all the money, I said that my husband gives me an allowance and that’s only because I’m not working, and obviously I have to have an allowance to be able to feed and clothe my family. But my husband doesn’t have control of all the money, we live on a budget and I think these days every family needs to live on a budget.

Bones asks: How do you stay in touch with the workforce in order to return to work once having 3-5 years off to have children?

Sophie Bacic: Before I got married and a child, I was a partner in a business and still till this day every now and then I help out here and there with the business. But in 5 years time if I decided I wanted to go back to work and have a career, well then I would have to think about doing a course or something like that.

Anna asks: Hi Sophie - can I ask what made you make this decision to a stay at home mum?

Sophie Bacic: I’m one of six kids and when I was younger at primary school my mum had to go back to work for several different reasons and I really missed having my mum there. She wasn’t able to do canteen or tuckshop duty and I think it’s really important that you are there for your kids, especially in the early years because that’s when they start to develop and that’s the best time.

jenka asks: Is their equality in your marriage? How do you keep your individuality?

Sophie Bacic: Yes there is definitely equality in our marriage, I make sure our children are in bed by 6-7pm and we have our own time together. As for individuality, we both have different hobbies that we like to do and we both share the same hobbies.

funnymummy asks: Sophie have you any idea's regarding working from home for the mums that want to stay at home for their family but financially it just is not an option?

Sophie Bacic: Yes, I have and that’s why I got into the cake decorating business because eventually I would like to start up my own cake decorating business from home because that is something I can do with children and still look after my family.

nikolina asks: I'm about to leave work in 2 weeks to be a housewife while i look for part time work and start a family... did you find it hard financially at first living on 1 wage and how did you get over the it ?

Sophie Bacic: Yes, I found it very hard living on 1 wage and I found it was hard not having my own money. But you get used to it, you adjust and you have to go without things. But obviously you do that for your family.

L-M76 asks: Do you feel like you're not using your brain, like you are capable of so much more? I would imagine a sense of frustration after some time?

Sophie Bacic: Sometimes, I long for my husband to come home so I can have an adult conversation. But, I don’t just stay at home and cook and clean and play with my child all day, I do other things that keeps me sane.

cominghome asks: I'm returning from full time work to full time stay-at-home mum. I'm nervous! How do I stay motivated?

Sophie Bacic: You have to be motivated because you have a child who is dependent on you 24/7. You have to be motivated. But some days I will have lazy mornings, but every day is different and somehow you motivate yourself to get things ready and cook dinner, clean the house and take your child to swimming etc. You always find something to do. Good luck!

Janet asks: When people ask you what you do for a job, do they "insinuate" life must be a bludge for you when you say you stay at home?

Sophie Bacic: Yes, some people think I stay at home because I’m lazy and don’t want to work. But little do they know I had a very successful business prior to getting married and having kids. But being a house wife / mother is not just a 9-5 job, it’s a 24 hr job, it doesn’t stop.

kasmith asks: What will you do with your life when your children have left home? That will be sooner than you think! About 15 years from now probably!

Sophie Bacic: Hopefully I will have my own cake decorating business, but really you need to take it a day at a time. I don’t know what I’ll be like in 15 years time, so we’ll wait and see.

shalin80 asks: Do your children go to childcare to make friends and build social skills?

Sophie Bacic: My child is only 1 so she isn’t old enough to go to pre-school, but we go to play groups with different children and swimming classes.

charlie7 asks: Sophie, did you always have this view towards motherhood before you got married and had children?

Sophie Bacic: I always knew that I wanted to have kids and be a mum, but when I was running a successful business I didn’t think that I would be a full-time stay at home mum, I always thought that I would work part-time and run a family. But when I did try and do that soon after my daughter was born, I started feeling really guilty about leaving her and not being there and spending time with her. And missing those younger years that can never be replaced.

tnguyen asks: How do you feel about being financially dependent on your husband?

Sophie Bacic: I suppose when my husband and I decided to have kids, we knew one of us would have to stay at home and look after them. But really I don’t feel dependent on my husband because if I were working full-time, he would have to hire someone else to look after the household, so I’m actually helping my husband out by saving him money. I am actually working at home.

jdb01 asks: Sophie don’t you think it would be fairer if you both decided on finances, not just your husband giving you an allowance that he decides upon? Other than that I say well done.

Sophie Bacic: At the moment we are building a house and we both do decide on the finances with regard to the house. He decided on the amount of housekeeping he would give me, but that’s only because that’s what fits into the budget. I do get a say in finances. In 20 years time we want to be ahead, we don’t want to have to be struggling. We want to work hard now and save and be financially ahead.

tnguyen asks: Sophie do you feel that you have wasted your time at school and university by choosing to be a housewife?

Sophie Bacic: No, not at all. Because you never know what’s going to happen in 15-20 years time, but education is not just about getting a job. It can be about self-fulfilment.

Sharon_J asks: Does a typical day for you have any structure or routine?

Sophie Bacic: Yes, have to have routine. Especially with a baby.

Ruth53 asks: Sophie, after 35 years of marriage I believe we have a partnership, where everything from cooking to earning money is shared and financial decisions are shared. How does your marriage compared to that?

Sophie Bacic: My husband does help, he does household work and it is shared, but more so I do the normal day to day duties, house cleaning and cooking and he concentrates more in the garden. He is my best friend, and hopefully we will be married for 35 years and hopefully over the years we will establish a stronger partnership.

jenniferbne asks: Sophie, the kids were making so much noise I didn't get to hear most of the show. Did you have many friends that were housewives or did you meet new people?

Sophie Bacic: Yes, I met a lot of people after I had my daughter, but also I had a lot of my husband’s friends that were married and had kids who helped me along the way, some are stay at home and some do work.

Ruth53 asks: Sophie, you say your husband deserves a meal on the table at night because he's been working all day. Haven't you been working too?

Sophie Bacic: Absolutely! Yes, but I’m a better cook than he is so one of us has to do it.

mmkkprxd asks: Hi Sophie, don't you think it is unfair that in the relationship you have with your husband, you're doing a lot things directly for him, (like not only preparing meals, but having them ready exactly when he wants them) but what, apart from paying bills and maybe mowing the lawn, is he doing directly for you?

Sophie Bacic: It’s not about him or me, it’s about us and our family.

twisterella asks: Would you consider study whilst your kids are little so you are ready to enter a career when they reach school age?

Sophie Bacic: Yes, as long as it didn’t interfere too much with my home life.

itsallwork asks: Do you aspire to be like a 50's housewife or is the 60 minutes story all wrong?

Sophie Bacic: Not a 50’s housewife, a housewife in 2009. Who has a choice whether they want to stay at home or go to work. The choice is the big thing, being able to have a choice. My husband never made me stay at home, I stay at home because it’s my choice.

charlie7 asks: Who looks after your children when you go out and do your hobbies etc? Does your husband look after the children?

Sophie Bacic: Yes, my husband and my mum, mother in law and family.

emmy30 asks: I am looking at selling my business to stay at home with my three children, I am very nervous that I will lose my independence. Did you find this difficult?

Sophie Bacic: At first I did because I was scared I’d lose my self-esteem and confidence. But once I had my child, and mingling with other mums and people, my focus shifted.

Roryrory asks: Would you think a father could do as good a job as a mum at staying home? Is what you do a gender-specific thing?

Sophie Bacic: That’s a hard question to answer! Offcourse a dad could do the job just as good as a mum, as long as the mum can financially provide for the family. That’s really what it comes down to.

mimagirl6 asks: Will you home school or what will you do with your time when they go to school?

Sophie Bacic: No, they are definitely going to school! When they go to school, I will get involved with the school. Tuckshop duty, PR meetings etc. I’d like to get involved with the school activities.

mick asks: Sophie, deep down do you really care what anyone thinks of how you and your husband have chosen to be a supportive couple for your children?

Sophie Bacic: No, I don’t. I don’t care so long as my husband and children are happy and healthy, and most importantly I’m happy, it doesn’t worry me how people think. Everyone is different, with different views.

Interviewer: Unfortunately, we are out of time, do you have anything else you would like to share before we finish tonight?

Sophie Bacic: Thank you for everyone’s time and questions. I hope I haven’t offended anybody, especially the mothers who work very hard with a full-time job and raising a family. At the end of the day, I stay at home to look after my family because it is my choice to do that. I have not been made to stay at home, I have chosen to stay at home. Thank you, good night and God bless.

Interviewer: Once again thank you and goodnight.

Interviewer: This concludes our chat with Sophie Bacic, Sunday June 14, 2009.

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