Reporter: Tara Brown
Producer: Jo Townsend
Charmaine Dragun had everything to live for - a glamorous job as a newsreader, an adoring partner and a large and loving network of friends and family.
Her life seemed charmed. But Charmaine's brilliant smile masked a dreadful secret.
For almost all her adult life, Charmaine battled depression, until one day three years ago she decided she was done fighting.
For those left behind trying to understand what went wrong, their worst fears have now been confirmed, Charmaine was let down by the very people she turned to for help, the medical profession.
Story Contacts:
If you are struggling with depression, support can be found at:
* Lifeline: phone 13 11 14
* SANE Helpline: phone 1800 18 7263
* The Black Dog Institute: www.blackdoginstitute.org.au
Link to the bipolar self test:
www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/bipolardisorder/self-test.cfm
Fact sheets on depression
www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/factsheets/index.cfm
Resources for depression and bipolar disorder
www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/resources/overview.cfm
Full transcript:
TARA BROWN:
ESTELLE DRAGUN: She resides in the most beautiful natural parkland setting you could ever wish for.
TARA BROWN: It's late afternoon and Estelle Dragun has come to see her daughter, Charmaine.
ESTELLE DRAGUN: Well, darling, one thing I never expected to do was be brushing your plaque, my sweetheart.
TARA BROWN: As serene as this place is, it's a visit no mother should have to make. For nearly three years now, Estelle has been tending to her daughter's grave, and for three years has been struggling to understand why Charmaine, at 29, chose to end her life.
ESTELLE DRAGUN: I think something that really struck me was the hopelessness Charmaine was feeling. No-one should have to endure hopelessness. I can't imagine what it must have been like, and I just feel she was cheated.
CHARMAINE ON VIDEO: Hey, hey! I'm like those skiiers on 'Wide World of Sports' - yeah!
TARA BROWN: To the world, Charmaine had a life to envy.
CHARMAINE ON VIDEO: Detectives were waiting in the man's driveway...,
TARA BROWN: She was stunning and talented and, with her heart set on journalism, was quickly promoted to reading Perth's nightly news.
CHARMAINE ON VIDEO: And, in sport, more off-field trouble for the West Coast Eagles.
TARA BROWN: The highly coveted job meant a move to Channel 10's headquarters in Sydney, where the bulletin was broadcast, co-hosting with news veteran Tim Webster. None of her colleagues knew of her long battle with mental illness.
TIM WEBSTER: She was a Perth girl and the camera loved her. She's a terrific newsreader, that's the thing - one of the best I've ever seen. I really liked her because she was hard-working, she was a pro, she was dedicated to what she was doing, and she wanted to do more.
TARA BROWN: Off-screen, Charmaine was a very loved woman. Does it give you comfort or pain to go to places that you and Charmaine used to share?
SIMON STRUTHERS: Most of the time, they're all happy memories. I guess I try to hold on to the good times.
TARA BROWN: Her long-time partner, Simon Struthers, is still lost without her.
SIMON STRUTHERS: She had an incredible energy, and she could always make you feel like you were the most special person in the world. I remember her laugh, and her smile.
TARA BROWN: Charmaine took her own life here, at The Gap, in Sydney, in November 2007. For 10 years, she'd been prescribed medication to treat depression, and in her battle to get better, she'd just changed doctors. But, now, her coroner's inquest has found it was most likely that Charmaine was misdiagnosed. Instead of depression, she probably had bipolar 2 disorder, a condition that required a completely different medication. As unpredictable as mental illness is, it's quite clear that Charmaine was let down by the very people she went to for help. If Charmaine had been diagnosed properly, in your opinion, what would her chances be of being alive today?
PROF GORDON PARKER: We would expect that most people with a bipolar condition, that had the right management applied, not just the diagnosis made, would have it brought under control. So the chances of misadventure and suicide would've been minimised considerably.
TARA BROWN: That's tragic, isn't it?
PROF GORDON PARKER: It is tragic.
TARA BROWN: Renowned psychiatrist Professor Gordon Parker, an expert witness at the inquest, believes Charmaine suffered terribly.
PROF GORDON PARKER: What we do know of people who survived in states like that, they actually usually don't want to die. They more want the pain taken away, because the pain in their head, the anguish, the agitation, the desperation, the depression, the feeling of no future, the feeling of being isolated, the feeling of being a burden on others, they're all too much.
TARA BROWN: Without proper care, bipolar disorder, defined by mood swings of highs and dark lows, has the highest rate of suicide of all depressive illnesses in Australia. For a decade, Charmaine was simply and sadly getting the wrong treatment. Isn't it up to these health professionals to spot this? Isn't that their duty, their responsibility?
PROF GORDON PARKER: My personal belief is any health professional needs to recognise that there are differing types of depression, and also recognise the bipolar disorders and know how to screen for them. To not do that, I - in my view, is unacceptable.
TARA BROWN: So, what was it that attracted you to Charmaine in the first place?
SIMON STRUTHERS: I think everything.
TARA BROWN: As tragic as Charmaine's life was, Simon also remembers the woman he fell in love with as a teenager - a vivacious, fun fellow adventurer.
SIMON STRUTHERS: We were happy, we had a great life together, so, I think it's just really important to remember that this depression didn't define Charmaine's life. We actually had so many happy years, so many great experiences together.
TARA BROWN: Even when Charmaine's lows hit, they continued to plan a future together of marriage and babies.
SIMON STRUTHERS: She was really trying to find what was going to make her well. She wanted to be off antidepressant medication, because she didn't want to be on it when we were going to have kids. So she was, yeah, really, really searching for that answer.
TARA BROWN: When did you plan on having kids?
SIMON STRUTHERS: It would've been this year.
CHARMAINE ON VIDEO: Kevin Rudd has made his play for the grey vote...
TARA BROWN: To most people watching, Charmaine's last news bulletin was polished, delivered with her usual poise. To her, this tiny stumble...
CHARMAINE ON VIDEO: I'll have updates a bit lee - later -
TARA BROWN: ..was unforgivable.
TIM WEBSTER: She said, "That bulletin that I talked about in the Coroner's Court, "the worst bulletin I've ever read it's terrible, "they're going to fire me." And it wasn't terrible. I mean, it wasn't even remotely terrible, so that's the insecurity that she obviously had that most of us I don't think saw.
TARA BROWN: No-one knew how deep Charmaine's despair was. Her so-called failings during her news read set her on a course of self-destruction.
SIMON STRUTHERS: It was a lot harder that night to talk her out of feeling that way.
TARA BROWN: At the time, do you think that you had calmed her down, that you had brought some reality to her perspective?
SIMON STRUTHERS: Definitely. After that, we had dinner and it was a relatively normal night. She was calm and, even the next morning, she wasn't even thinking about that at all.
TARA BROWN: That morning, Charmaine drove Simon to work. He was a forensic scientist working for the NSW police. She then took the car to be serviced and booked concert tickets.
SIMON STRUTHERS: So everything was looking days, weeks, months ahead. So, everything seemed actually quite - quite normal that morning. Yeah.
TARA BROWN: When did you realise they weren't?
SIMON STRUTHERS: When I received a text message from her. I worked in that area and I was working with the police, so, I had a police radio on me, and I knew that the police were on their way to The Gap.
TARA BROWN: When you're confronted with a text like that, and then it's confirmed, what do you do? What do you do in that moment?
SIMON STRUTHERS: Your world comes to an end.
ESTELLE DRAGUN: "For five days now "I have been submerged under a torrent of raging thoughts and feelings, "unable to break through to the surface "where reason and reality lies."
TARA BROWN: Charmaine's diary reveals the unshakeable pain of her last days, something she didn't share with her family, so they never contemplated she would end her life.
ESTELLE DRAGUN: I just couldn't believe it. It was the hardest words to have to have to comprehend, to think about. It was awful. It was just awful. It just didn't seem possible. And I think the fact that she blamed herself. She wasn't laying it on anybody. Here's a girl saying, "It's all my fault." Do we say that if our heart plays up? We don't blame ourselves for a heart condition. So why should she blame herself for feeling hopeless and having such low self-esteem? That lives with me every day of my life.
SIMON STRUTHERS: I don't think I'm ever going to understand it. I'm always going to have a question or a doubt in my head.
TARA BROWN: And what do your questions and doubts centre on?
SIMON STRUTHERS: What Charmaine was thinking, and how she was. I just - I can't believe that was her. I can't believe she could have ever done this.
TARA BROWN: Three years on, there is finally some comfort for Charmaine's family with the recent Coroner's Inquest calling for a shake-up of the mental health profession. Because of Charmaine's misdiagnosis, the coroner now wants doctors to test for bipolar disorder whenever treating the mentally ill. The Draguns hope this will help reduce our devastating suicide rate. Currently, one Australian takes their own life every four hours.
PROF GORDON PARKER: The coroner recommending that all health professionals dealing with people with mood disorders need to screen for bipolar disorder, and that there are better tools for screening for bipolar disorder, I think means that many lives are likely to be saved as a consequence of that.
TARA BROWN: It's almost been three years since Charmaine took her life. How long does it feel for you?
SIMON STRUTHERS: Some days it feels like it was yesterday. Other times it seems like it's been a decade.
TARA BROWN: You miss her that much?
SIMON STRUTHERS: Yes.
ESTELLE DRAGUN: She was a littlie.
MICHAEL DRAGUN: Very small.
TARA BROWN: To Estelle and Michael, Charmaine will always be their little girl - a precious, only daughter, who was let down at her most vulnerable. But they believe this is just the beginning of Charmaine's story - that her suffering will see others get the help they need.
ESTELLE DRAGUN: We're proud to have had the most beautiful daughter anyone could ever wish for and, hopefully, her death has not been in vain, that we can make a difference and I know that she would have wanted that.
